


M. Bison just wants to be trans already

by TheHowlofaWildButt



Category: Street Fighter
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Genderbending, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, shitpost, why does capcom always keep making Bison try and possess female bodies?: the fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 07:57:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13336821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHowlofaWildButt/pseuds/TheHowlofaWildButt
Summary: One day when reading fanfic, M. Bison makes a realization that will change his life.





	1. Ranma 1/2 is the voice of a generation

It was an ordinary Tuesday evening for M. Bison as he sat listlessly on his evil lair's sofa and flicked through fanfic on his phone. He sighed.

“God, maybe I should stop reading all of these Ranma ½ fics. They're really addictive, but they also make me kinda depressed. Maybe it's because they're making me want to try and inhabit a female body again...” M. Bison thought wistfully of his happy days designing Cammy as a replacement body for himself in the off-chance that he was struck down in combat, and how wonderful it was to supplant Rose's personality with his own and steal her body for a while. It was like a dream come true, and Bison relished those days. But then his face turned sad again. “But I can't because apparently possessing people is wrong, and creating soulless clones to possess instead leads to an entire squad of super karate martial arts ninny do-gooders deciding to gang up on me all the same. 'That's the point of the soulless clone thing,' I try to explain, but noooooooooo.”

“I think the real problem with that idea is because you used the soulless clones to assassinate enemies, Dhalsim in particular, Master Bison. Cammy would still be under your control if not for that.” Vega spoke up.

“How was I supposed to know that a yoga instructor who can bend his legs behind his head and his head next to his ass would have the wisdom and philosophical insight to instill a sense of right and wrong in my bioweapon?” Bison balled his fists. “Urgh! Just thinking about it still makes me mad. Vega what are you doing listening to me monologue my internal pain, anyway?”

“I was on my way to the kitchen.”

“Well, go on then. Don't be an eavesdropper.” Bison gestured the Spanish ninja to be away.

“If I may say one last set of words before I depart...?”

“...Go on.”

“It seems that you may benefit from researching the term 'transgender'. That is if you truly want to inhabit a female body again.”

“You're smiling cryptically again, Vega. I don't like it when you do that.” Bison said.

“My apologies, sir.”

“But nonetheless you have stoked my interest. This better had be good though. If this is anything like before when you told me to look up goatse, then I might be angry...” Waves of the unnatural psycho power began to ripple off Bison's body.

“Er, just stick to the academic websites and avoid anything fishy and you should be fine.”

Vega quickly left, and Bison was alone again. He quickly typed 'transgender' into wikipedia and started to read what was there with growing amazement.

“My word... Could this be... what I was looking for all this time?! Impossible, and yet it speaks to the dark secret that's been eating away at me for all of my life...” said the dark leader of Shadoloo as he stared wide-eyed (or should I say white-eyed lol) at the screen. “That I should have been born a girl...”

The phone was crushed within his fists. Its debris tried to fall, but was trapped by the field of Bison's psycho energy that was strengthening all the more with the force of his inner chaos. Soon Bison was levitating off the ground, the room filled with the brightness of sheer power arcing through the air. All the nearby furniture trembled before being dashed to bits against the superhuman force.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Vega had pulled out a burrito from the fridge and was going to heat it up in the microwave when all of sudden all of the electronics everywhere started to flicker, and the entire building itself began to shake. After a few seconds, the lights finally gave out, leaving Vega alone with a cold burrito to eat for dinner. He sighed.


	2. Bison needs female clones of himself immediately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bison gets mobilized, meanwhile Balrog offers his insight.

M. Bison was angry, and his subordinates knew it.

“Gather my cloning scientists and geneticists! Prepare the biopods! I am once again in need of female clones of myself!” He roared.

“But Master Bison, why?!” One of the underlings asked, to which Bison replied.

“Because it is time for me to go trans...” The dictator said with his usual tone of power and finality.

Another underling spoke up. “A lot of our scientists say that they aren't prepared yet since it's on such short-notice. What shall I tell them in response, Master Bison?”

“Accursed fools! They should know better to dedicate their every waking moment to the glory of Bison and Shadaloo! Let them know that if they do not arrive soon, they can expect they and their family to pay a heavy price.”

“Aye, sir.” Said the underling.

But before the underling could relay the message, Balrog quickly jumped into the conversation. “Wait, wait, wait, let's put a hold on that and let's get something straight. Bison? Why do we need scientists so soon again?”

“So that I may finally achieve my goal of inhabiting a female form. Not only that, but one that is capable of withstanding the force of my psycho power. That is why genetically-altered clones are necessary. Come now, Balrog, we've been through this before. You should know this already.” Bison spoke.

“That's exactly why I'm worried. Every time Shadaloo starts making clones, bam, Interpol gets involved. And it's never just Interpol. It's always Chun-Li, Guile...”

Bison groaned. “Ugh, those two are always such a headache. I killed their friends and family. So what? Don't those two realize that I kill a lot of other peoples' families? They're no one special.”

“...Ken Masters,” Balrog continued.

“Tch. Rich kid.” Bison said dismissively.

“Zangief,”

“Why does he keep showing up? The tournament was over years ago! He should have gone home already.”

“Uh, sometimes E. Honda,” Balrog continued listing more.

“The fiend thinks he can get in on my first name-single letter acronym naming convention? The fool... I shall teach him otherwise. Nonetheless, he's not of real concern to me.”

“...and of course, Ryu. And usually when he gets involved, that demon-looking dude Akuma does too.”

“Argh... Damn those two.” Bison tightened a fist.

“That's why I'm saying maybe we can avoid that whole mess, and accomplish your goal of getting a female body a different way.” Balrog said.

“A different way? A different way...” Bison turned away and thought to himself. “You have wisdom, Balrog. Perhaps kidnapping Cammy is in order then.”

Both Balrog and Vega, who was in the room too, simultaneously said “Nooooooooo.”

“What?” For a moment Bison seemed hurt that his plan was tossed aside so briefly, but then he was angry again. “Then what are you trying to get at then if not that?”

“There's gotta be someone you can talk to about your deep-seated need of having a female body, Master Bison.” Balrog said. “Like, everyone here knows that it's a real big issue to you.”

Bison felt flushed. “You do?”

The Shadaloo minions meekly replied in the affirmative, with some amount of concerned that they might be slaughtered whether they answer or not.

“And you know what? That's fine. It's a modern world after all.” Balrog tried to be supportive. “Maybe instead of trying to steal someone else's body, maybe you could talk out your feelings instead with someone who could understand and help you with them. Do you know anyone who might fill those criteria?”

“Well, I may know someone.” Bison thought aloud.

Later...

“Hey, so what's this thing about me and you sharing the same soul again?” Bison asked.

“Holy shit, what the fuck, get the fuck out of my house.” Rose replied in a stream of consciousness.

“It's actually an apartment.” Bison said.

“Get the fuck out!” Rose started powering up her Soul Energy, and Bison powered up his Psycho Power as well in preparation for the fight to come. They fought leading to Rose's apartment getting trashed and Bison quickly flying away on the wind. He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not easy being an evil dictator.

**Author's Note:**

> The engaging tale of high stakes drama begins.


End file.
